Will, Josh, and the Interview

Second homestudy visit was today. The boys were so excited and really nervous about their interviews. They both did great! The social worker asked the boys what activities they liked to do, how they liked school, and finally how they felt about having a new sister. She asked Josh what he thought of the idea of having two boys and two girls in his family. He responded that our family ALREADY had two boys and two girls in it. The social worker was a bit confused until Josh reminded her that she was forgetting about Ella, our female goldendoodle!

First Homestudy Visit

The homestudy is well underway. Our social worker came for the first meeting today. She talked with me, met the boys, walked through the house....she was great! Super nice and very professional.  

I have been diligently working on the homestudy paperwork for the last couple of weeks....FBI clearance was checked off with a drive to Columbus, medical forms were completed with a doctors visit and lots of bloodwork, reference forms have been mailed out (thanks to Sarah, Erica, Leslie, and Angela), septic tank has been inspected (the boys found this oddly fascinating), fingerprints have been taken (three times and counting), and so much more!  

The social worker went ahead and scheduled the next meeting for December 28th. I am really excited that she wants to do the visits QUICKLY which is fine by me! At the next meeting, she will talk individually with each of the boys. They love that they are going to have their own personal interview! (For those who know my kids, you know that I will be in prayer about what actually comes out of their mouth, but I am glad they are excited!)

You ought to be in pictures!

Tonight I received an email from one of my Internet friends.  Over the last few months, this woman has advocated for my little girl, hoping that she would find her family.  She was so excited when I shared with her that I had committed to adopt this child.  So tonight she sends me a link to a video....well, a TV show really....that has aired in China back in February of 2012.  This television show spotlights two very special children....one is my Abigail and the other is a little boy who will soon be called Edward.  Abigail and Edward are the best of friends.  This video is 22 MINUTES LONG!!!  The video shows where Abigail lives, her school room, her bedroom, her friends.  I can hear her voice and see her smile....what an AMAZING gift it is to have this!  Of course, I have been busy taking lots of screen shots, making some of the cutest pictures!  Hope you enjoy them as much as I do! 

What's in a Name?

This child needs a name!  Of course, she already has a Chinese name, which I will keep as her middle name.  I have done this with both of the boys...their name at birth became their middle name and I added an American first name.  I also want to choose a name with meaning.  This is important in Chinese culture, but it is also a tradition in our family.   I have been looking for a name that means  "joy" or "happiness".  I have written before how this child seems to exude joy.  How she seems to just bubble over with happiness.  How she is ALWAYS smiling!

I was thinking the other morning about the things in my own life that bring me joy....my family, my friends, even my job, but also many seemingly trivial things like eating a favorite meal, reading a good book, watching a movie, going on vacation...as my mind sifted through these things, I found myself wondering how this child could be so joyful?  After all, she has nothing....no family, no possessions to call her own, really not even a hope for a future.  By the world's standards, she has nothing, certainly no reason to be joyful.  

I found myself wondering then what it was that could fill her with such happiness?   And like a lightbulb turned on in my head, all of a sudden I knew...God spoke quietly to my heart, answering the question almost as soon as I asked it.  What does she have to be joyful about?  "She has ME...she is radiating MY joy.  I am her Father...I am pouring MY joy into her.". And so her name will be Abigail, which fits just perfectly, as it means "the Father's Joy".

So, now that we have a name, let's put a face to that name....introducing our Abigail!

PA!!!

I received an email today from Holt..."Good news! We have receive an update and your PA. You received pre-approval on 12/3/12! Congratulations!"  

So what does this mean?  PA stands for pre-approval, which means that the CCWAA has reviewed my LOI and other preliminary information and has conditionally approved me to adopt this child.  It also means I have six months from this date to get my adoption dossier (more paperwork!) to China.

All this to say that it is time to get started!

And, I also received the update, with all the answers to the questions that I asked the orphanage.  They sent updated measurements, a short video of her walking, the radiology report from recent X-rays, information about the brace that she is currently wearing on her leg, and the name that she is called in the orphanage.  

The video is so wonderful to have!  I do get to see her walk in the video, but I had to watch it several times before I even remembered to look at her leg.  Her smile is so captivating...like you are watching pure joy just spill out of her!  Amazing!

God is Definitely in the Details....

This is a post that starts back in 2006... It is the story of a friendship that began years ago, but also the story of how God is constantly working in the details of our lives.  

The story begins in February of 2006 when I was waiting on a referral from Guatemala. I was #32 on the waiting list for a baby boy with my adoption agency. I had sent out an email to a family (the mom's name was Sarah) who was right ahead of me at #31, thinking it would be nice to connect with someone who was on a similar journey. Will was four and a half years old at the time.

What became of that email? God used that first email to begin a friendship between Sarah and I that has now spanned seven years. I would come to find out after that first email that Sarah lived in Iowa and had three biological children, the oldest of whom was Luke, who was five years old at the time. (Will and Luke would later become pen pals!) Sarah and her husband Shane felt God leading them to adopt from Guatemala, just as I had heard that same call.

Sarah and I began emailing, often many times a day, discussing the ins and outs of the adoption process in Guatemala. Our emails gave way to phone calls, at least daily, and those phone calls created the best of friends. We waited and waited as our numbers on the waiting list grew smaller and smaller. Soon it was June of 2006...June 22nd to be exact...and we both received a phone call that afternoon from our adoption agency announcing our referrals. We rejoiced together at this blessing!

Sarah traveled to meet her new son in Guatemala the week before I did. She got to love on Josh and took lots of pictures for me.

After we had both completed our first trips, Sarah and I continued to talk every day....planning, hoping, and dreaming of the day when we could return to Guatemala to bring our boys home. We rejoiced in the monthly updates that our agency sent...new pictures, new measurements, and new accomplishments that our sons had learned. We supported each other as time wore on and we learned that our little guys could rollover... sit up...crawl...all done without us. We celebrated as our adoption cases progressed and cried when we hit delays. Finally, thousands of emails and phone calls later, it was time for each of us to travel to bring our sons home. I traveled first and was able to repay Sarah and love on her Alex, take lots of pictures, and most importantly, whisper to him that his family was coming soon.

As time went by, our daily phone calls became less frequent as life simply took over. Sarah and I remained very close, but talked less frequently. When we did talk, we chatted about our desire to start another adoption. Sarah felt called to Ethiopia and I began to feel a leading towards another adoption as well. Sarah and her husband signed with the same adoption agency in 2010 and began what would surely be a very long wait for a referral from Ethiopia. I hesitated, some days feeling very sure that I would adopt again and other days feeling like the time was just not right. In April of 2011, I read online that China had opened its "special focus" program to single mothers. I was excited, but quickly learned that I did not qualify. Josh was four at the time and China required the youngest child in the household to be six years old. I decided to use the time to research the China adoption process and really try to discern what direction God wanted for me and my family.

On August 30, 2012, I requested to view the file of a 5 year old girl in China. I received the file that same day. Also, on that same day, Sarah and her husband got an email out of the blue from their adoption agency asking them to consider a 5 year old girl from Haiti. Both girls had names that began with the letter "J". Early on, I felt very positive about the file I was considering and felt almost certain that I would accept it. Sarah and Shane had some concerns (their agency was seeking accredidation in Haiti, the file had some conflicting information, etc.), but also started to feel that they might should pursue the adoption of this little girl. Once again, we rejoiced together. I sent the file I had been given to an international adoption specialist. The doctor called me the next day with devastating news - news about medical issues and concerns that I did not feel I would be able to handle. I returned the file on September 6, although I found myself questioning the decision I had made, wondering why this had happened and if I simply lacked the faith I needed to move forward. Meanwhile, Sarah and Shane continued to struggle with their own uncertainties about the child they had been shown. They, too, declined their referral, just a few days after I had made my decision to do the same. And once again, God helped me find comfort and peace in our friendship.

On October 16, 2012, I requested and received the file of a seven year old girl in China. I immediately sent the information to Sarah and we combed through it together. I had the file reviewed by several doctors and continued to feel peace that I had found my daughter. Ironically, I began to hear an announcement on the radio, almost daily, that said "When you are faced with a difficult journey, often God sends you someone so that you do not have to face it alone." Sarah and I continued to talk, and I rested in the fact that once again, she was there for me along this journey. As we talked, she shared with me that she was currently #46 on the boys list for Ethiopia. I distinctly remember feeling very odd when she said that, thinking that she would certainly not have to wait much longer, despite her wait list number. I even encouraged her to finish up some remaining paperwork that she had been putting aside for a while. On October 23rd, Sarah received a phone call from a friend of hers who told her of a dream she had had where Sarah adopted a young boy and that it happened very quickly. Still, being #46 on the waiting list should have easily meant another year or more of waiting to receive her referral. Nevertheless, we all felt it was coming soon. And it did! On November 9th, Sarah texted me..."Just got a call for a 5 year old boy!!!!" When I read the text, I had chill bumps all over. 

I went on to officially accept the referral of my daughter on November 19, 2012. Sarah and Shane officially accepted the referral of their son that same week.  And I was reminded that God had given us this friendship so that we could share in this amazing journey of adoption together...once again!

Sent from my iPad

LOI...

Still no update, but when I look honestly at the questions I have asked of the orphanage, I know that I am ready to move forward regardless of the answers.  It is odd to feel such peace about this child...not to say that I am not still terrified at times, but I just feel God reassuring my heart that He has it and that I can rest in that.  And so....today, I have submitted my Letter of Intent (LOI) to adopt this little girl.  This is my formal request to the CCWAA asking permission to adopt this child.  The letter begins like this:  "After careful review of the child material, consultation with medical professionals and thoughtful consideration I am formally accepting this child to be my daughter."  My DAUGHTER!!!  Did you see that?  I love my boys so much, but I am so excited to bring a little girl into our family!

It's been two weeks since I requested the updated information and still no response!  I am getting a bit nervous, knowing that Holt will have to return the file in ten days.  I got the following email today from the Family Service Coordinator at Holt:

"We are still waiting the update information from China, but the child's designation expires on Nov. 25^th.  If you like to hold this child while we wait for the updates, please email the required photos/form/LOI by Nov. 19^th, so that we can upload your application."

It sounds as if I can go ahead and submit my LOI (Letter of Intent), pending the review of the updated information.  This is good news!  So, what exactly is a LOI?  This is really the first official step....it is a letter written by me to the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCWAA) expressing my intent to adopt a particular child from China.  Oh my....am I really going to do this???

I contacted the agency who will do the homestudy...I figure I might as well go ahead and get the information.  This is a different agency than the one I used before for the boys adoptions.  Holt contracts with this agency and requires that I use them.  Looks like fun...um, definitely not!  They require:

1. References from a family member, teacher, and two friends
2. Birth Certificate
3. Divorce Decree
4. Proof of Citizenship
5. Copy of Driver's License
6. Proof of Car Insurance
7. Medical Report including TB Test
8. Pediatrician Report
9. Drug Screen
10. Pet Vaccination Verification
11. Septic Tank Inspection
12. Proof of Health Insurance
13. Financial Statements
14. Income Tax Return
15. Employer Letter
16. Copy of Mortgage Statement
17. Record of all 911 calls
18. Child Safety Agreement
19. Guardianship Statement
20. Recent Pictures
21. GBI fingerprint check
22. FBI fingerprint check
23. Child Abuse Registry Check
24. Proof of completion of 12 credit hours of Adoption Preparation Training (because the last ten years of parenting the boys is just not enough!)

Whew!  Are you tired yet???  Because I am a little overwhelmed....

I am sending an email to Holt asking I can request more information from the orphanage, in hopes of answering some of the questions that the doctors posed.  I know that Holt has the child's file until November 25th, so maybe we have time to get a bit more information to help me in making my decision.  I am asking for updated measurements, pictures of her leg, copies of X-rays, and a video showing how well she can walk.  Holt says that we should expect a response in two to three weeks, so I guess I wait for a bit now....

After feeling really good about what the doctor said yesterday, I woke up this morning back in my state of panic.  Accepting this referral is a HUGE leap of faith....I just want to be sure that I am as prepared and knowledgeable as possible before I move forward.  I decided that it would be wise to have a pediatric orthopedist take a look at her file.  Now, it is Friday morning and I am supposed to let Holt know my decision on Monday.  I know it is going to be hard to find a doctor on a Friday who will not only agree to look at the file, but agree to look at it TODAY.  So sitting on the side of my bed, I am praying that God will make this happen, how I don't know, but praying that if this is information that I need to have to move forward, that He will somehow work it out.

So I put calls in to two orthopedic offices in Atlanta.  Each time, I find myself explaining what I need to the receptionist or worse yet, just leaving a voicemail on their answering machine.  At 2:00 pm, one office calls me back, only to say that they cannot help me.  A few minutes later, the second office returns my call.  The woman says that they do have a doctor on staff who is often willing to review information with adoptive families!  I email the information to her right away and then ask when I should expect to hear back from the doctor.  Much to my disappointment, she tells me that she had seen the doctor respond as quickly as two or three business days, but it could take up to ten days for a response.  I could not bring myself to admit that I needed the information today, so I thanked her and hung up the phone.  I said a few more prayers, but I must admit, I was feeling pretty discouraged.

At 3:50, the phone rings and it is the patient coordinator from the second doctor's office.   I could tell she was surprised to be calling....she said the doctor had already looked at the file!  She said she had never seen him do a review so quickly!  Talk about an answered prayer!!  She gave me the doctor's best guess as to what I would be looking at, orthopedically, with this child.  And now I am back to the Internet to do a little more research!

Today, I spoke with a doctor who directs an International Adoption Clinic at a hospital in Nebraska.  His family has adopted six children, several with some of the same medical conditions that I am looking at in this child's file.  I emailed him the medical, pictures, and video on Tuesday and he called me today.  He spent over an hour on the phone with me, going though all of the medical reports, giving me a chance to ask all of my questions.  Overall, he said that this little girl looked really good!  He indicated that she would likely need some surgery, but was very optimistic.  And what a blessing when he told me that there was no charge for the consultation...wow!!!

I have spent the last few days seriously researching every single aspect of this little girl's medical file.  The internet holds a wealth of information, which is great, but it also gives every worse case scenario imaginable.  I literally think I am going to be sick...the whole thing makes me flip flop between feeling ok and feeling sheer panic...makes me nauseous...and yet, right in the middle of the panic, when I quiet all the fears, I feel peace.  And so I am praying...praying that God will make it clear to me what to do.

I still need to have a doctor who specializes in international adoption take a look at this file.  I have always used the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota, but they have become quite expensive, so I am trying to find another option. 

I emailed Holt today and asked for an extension...they said no other families had asked to view this child's file, so my new deadline for a decision is October 29th.  I am so relieved to have a bit more time!

Here we go...

The journey begins here.  Today, I received the file of a waiting child from China.  She is on Holt's designated list, but I actually saw her first on the Love Without Boundaries blog.  She is seven years old and so adorable!  The blog posting says that she has a great laugh and laughs often, is active, energetic, loves school, and is full of positive energy.  Sounds like the perfect little girl!  She has several special needs listed, one of which is an orthopedic issue with her right leg.  I have until Friday, October 19th to make a decision.  Ok..three days...lots to figure out between now and then!